THE CALM AFTER THE STORM

I always got ” Did I ever raise a hand to you?”..”Have I ever hit you or physically hurt you in any way?”  I always said no, because that was the truth.  So he never understood why I said that he was abusing me, and a lot of people would have the same mentality if they were never in the situation.

Bruises heal. Broken bones heal.  Emotional abuse takes years and years to get over and a lot of work on yourself and maybe, just maybe you could have a normal relationship again. That is a big maybe.  However, your new partner will have to be very patient as your trust was stripped away from you before,  leaving you with your self-esteem in the gutter. Once that happens it is very hard to trust again.  It doesn’t matter how strong you may feel now or how self righteous or how ‘I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR’ … ‘I AM STRONG .. NO ONE IS GOING TO PUT ME DOWN AGAIN’ you feel now….One or two wrong comments that hit you just the wrong way and bang!  A hit to your self-esteem again!!  Then before you know it something happens and bang another hit!

For example, when you have a strong foundation in a house, the house can stand up to almost anything, like rain, snow, wind, thunderstorms.  But once you start finding cracks in the foundation you notice that the house isn’t as strong anymore.  Then one day another thunderstorm hits, and this time the house starts to sway and topples over because the foundation crumbled.  So now you rebuild your house on a new foundation.  However, this house will never be as strong as the original house because the land under the house has also gave way from the storms.

I do hope you were able to follow me on this.  What I am trying to say is once broken and mended you will never be the same again.  You have a weak spot now in your very core, in your foundation, that in time will be mended.  However, it will always be there.  It is part of you now.

Spiritually, you have to forgive.  Without forgiveness you cannot move on.  This was a hard lesson for me.  It does not mean you forget. It means you let go and move on.  Without letting go you will not be able to move on.

And you don’t want to repeat the same thing over again, do you?

I would like to hear your views on this.  Please leave a comment below!!

Have a great Day!

Donna